Well its been a minute, last time I wrote was during a time of tragedy, last time I wrote we had just suffered the still birth of our daughter Daisy (August 2020). Whilst we still grieve (& always will) we also have had an incredibly joyful moment with the birth of our daughter Juno in October 2021 and nothing could describe that moment better than this quote that I read:
‘It is understood that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of any storm. When a rainbow appears, it does not mean the storm never happened or that we are not still dealing with its aftermath. It means that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and cloud. Without the storm there are no rainbows; and here, in life after the rain, one can still find joy.’
I want to start writing again, I’m no literary master but I enjoy it & if there’s one thing we have all learnt from this lock down its to start doing things we enjoy more, regardless. Also I like the idea that the children can read back over these little life stories as they grow up. I want to document Juno’s entry to the world as I did with the others, so here goes…
I was booked in to be induced at 10am on Thursday the 7th of October after a relatively high stress, high anxiety pregnancy, I had been constantly worried about getting prepared for her arrival with things like getting the bassinet out and clothes etc incase it would jinx it all, but I was being monitored & scanned every 2 weeks and looked after by a top consultant which helped settle my nerves no end. The children were getting geared up to meet her with Rex, for some reason, fascinated to know whether she would have the same skin colour as us or if she would be black…I wasn’t entirely sure why he was so eager to know this, but I assured him that if indeed she was black that I would have some quite serious questions to answer from daddy. I had kept the pregnancy very low key, only telling people when it was too obvious to not, my poor father didn’t know till I was 6 weeks away from having her, we were meeting him in Italy for a holiday (he was coming from home in South Africa) and I thought he would otherwise have the shock of his life!
The end couldn’t come fast enough, I was desperate to get our little girl out safe and sound so when it came time for the induction I was more than ready. However, when we got to the hospital on Thursday morning it was clear that staffing was short, 10am came and went then at 4pm they tried a “gentle” induction but after some contractions we were back where we started. So at about 2am Chris went home and I tried to get some sleep. Friday drifted along and I was constantly being told that they were too busy to do the induction so not only was I getting stressed but also was acutely aware that I’d only bought one change of clothes…so my idea of feeling and looking nice, clean & vaguely human after having the baby was quickly scrapped (don’t judge you all know how important the immediate post baby shoot is for getting that shot for the gram). Anyway, after a full breakdown to one of the kind ladies on the ward I was finally moved upstairs to the induction room at 10.30pm on Friday, I promptly tried to get hold of Chris but it seems that a late night in the hospital on Thursday had meant he was just absolutely exhausted on Friday night (In my head this is being said & should be read in the most sarcastic of tones) and therefore slept right through my labour. Thankfully I had a wonderful midwife and aside from a blip when my blood pressure dropped massively and I more or less passed out and could just hear “her heart rate is dropping” and came round to being injected with some kind of medicine, it was a very calm and peaceful labour. She arrived without fuss on Saturday the 9th at 09.20am, Just her and I, it was peaceful and perfect.
Each of the children have a song from their birth and for little Juno it was The Teskey Brothers – Sunshine Baby
I was desperate to get home after having been in the hospital for what felt like forever, though they wanted me to stay in for another 24 hours I begged and so after some checks I was able to leave about 6pm that same Saturday. I was so excited for Rex and Stella to meet Juno, Chris had been sharing videos with them that I had sent him from the hospital and he had said they were already so in love with her.
I remember Rex meeting Stella for the first time how excited and interested he was, so watching them then both meeting their new sister after losing a sister and the excitement from them was just the best ever! Please also note Stella’s best impression of Moira Rose’s Bébé in the video. Everyones favourite Frenchie took the role of eldest sibling as seriously as he always has, monitoring me extra closely in the week leading to her birth, curling up round my tummy whenever he could. He was a constant source of love and therapy after losing Daisy and so I think he knew he was needed even more this time round.
Even though it was the third time round, I couldn’t remember a damn thing about when a baby does things, when was I going to sleep again? That should read when AM I going to sleep again (as we enter the 4 month sleep regression)? How do you tell if they’re constipated? how often should they poo? Is she blind if she isn’t looking me by day 2 (genuine question I kept asking Chris)? I looked back in the diaries I have written for the other two, but turns out I hadn’t filled them with anything of any use rather written pages of smooshy love letters to them, which is lovely but entirely unhelpful. Much like her sister she was not one to enjoy her own space, but instead preferred to be curled up in my arms, which I was happy not to do anything to stop despite the strictest of midwives saying its creates bad habits, quite frankly I didn’t care, the joy of her little self curled in a ball in the crook of my arm, like a little hot water bottle, cooing as she slept was worth it.
and so here we are 4 months in to the day and in the midst of sleep regression, exhausted but utterly joyful too. She is the smiliest little lady (turns out she’s not blind 😅) so after a sleepless night she drops a huge grin and all is forgiven. Rex and Stella constantly suffocate her with love and whilst the initial change brought with it a range of emotions from them (more on that in another post) they are settled into life as a trio (plus Tony) and wouldn’t have it any other way.