Recently I keep coming on here and starting to write but it just doesn’t feel right, so I stop and stare at the screen and then shut my laptop for another day. I feel like in every last post I say – The next post won’t be so emotional, it’ll be back to the humour of my early posts. But I feel unsure of sharing humour, or sharing happy moments at the moment when we are living in a world which has moved from global pandemic to war, and people are suffering unimaginable terror, sadness, loss. What’s the right thing to do?
I suppose the answer is to look inwardly first and realise how bloody lucky I am. To soak up the time we have, to ‘try’ to live in the moment and enjoy, enjoy it all and by that I don’t mean you have to be chasing some big moment, or feeling like you have to constantly be striving to be more than you are, to have a better job, a bigger house or to go sky diving, learn to fly blah blah blah, or even have a big smile on your face every single day, that is impossible, but in general, I mean enjoy the life you’re living, its ok to feel content in the here and now, to enjoy the minutia of life if you’re lucky enough to be able to (I am going to get a bike though, and I’m gonna feel proud of myself when I start to ride it). To realise that by being able to walk down the street without fear of a bomb dropping or having to pack my children up with the bare essentials and bunker down underground while gunfire spews overhead. We are only born into our situations by chance, by sheer luck and it would be the greatest waste to take any of it for granted.
“To be content doesn’t mean you don’t desire more, it means you’re thankful for what you have and patient for what’s to come”
I started Rex and the City way back when I had my son (Rex) just over 6 years ago and it was always supposed to be like a diary, something myself and my children can look back on. I have a hand written diary for all of my children which I have written in consistently since the day each of them was born. They are filled with milestones and funny anecdotes, I can see them grow and change through those diaries and move into the people they’re becoming. It’s amazing to see how their characters differ but their bond is still so fierce
So while Juno is still very small I can already start to see her little personality come through, she is always smiling, this huge gummy grin, or staring with her huge blue eyes, entranced as she watches her brother and sister fight to cuddle her, lay on her, prop her up, put bows on her, squish her, talk loudly in her face, even put make up on her when I’m not looking (Stella Brown!). She is just Joy personified.
Stella is my little diva, a girls girl, larger than life, knows her own mind and is smart as a whip. She loves her siblings fiercely, and has a knack for getting her own way. But she’s also sensitive and can get shy if she’s asked to do something in front of people she doesn’t know or feel comfortable around.
And Rex, my eldest, the one who made me a mummy. He has a beautiful old soul, he’s sensitive, brave, independent, a thinker, in fact at parents evening the other evening his teacher told us he has a ‘great mind’ I’ve always thought the same. He’s also boisterous with an unrelenting amount of energy which we try and keep in check with what feels like millions of sports clubs.
They’ll all be different as they get older, but I hope they will continue to be each others biggest fans, biggest supports and biggest protectors. One thing this time we find ourselves in has taught me is how important it is to cherish all the moments, sing the praises of every accomplishment, show unconditional love and make sure they feel proud of themselves always.
This week we go back to South Africa and I can’t wait to write my first old school travel blog when I get back, I’ve always known that life can be short and maybe that’s why I find it so important to have everything noted down. So alongside getting my bike, I’m going to stick to making sure this next blog really is fun, and really does take advantage of a gift like travel. See you on the other side.